Free Agency (Choice & Accountability VE1)

2 Nephi 2 is one of my favorite chapters of the Book of Mormon. Starting in v4 -6, Nephi explains how men have agency: “…And the way is prepared from the fall of man, and salvation is free. And men are instructed sufficiently that they know good from evil. And the law is given unto men...Wherefore, redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah; for he is full of grace and truth”

Nephi then discusses the importance of the atonement and the necessity of opposition in all things starting with Adam and Eve. Verses 22 – 27 are long, but deep. From these verses we learn that the Fall was necessary for us to come to Earth. Equally important is the atonement that allowed us to overcome the consequences of the Fall. As stated in verse 25 and 27:

“Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy…Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.”

Along with agency, however, comes the consequences of our choices. D&C 82:3-4 states, "For of him unto whom much is given much is required; and he who sins against the greater light shall receive the greater condemnation...and justice and judgment are the penalty which is affixed unto my law…"

The blessings, however, of choosing to keep the commandments and our covenants far outweigh the struggles and adversity that we are asked to endure. This adversity tests our testimonies, but when we are obedient, Heavenly Father is bound to the law and his promised blessings are poured out upon us. "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise" (D&C 82:10).

The 13th Article of Faith (Knowledge VE6)

The thirteenth article of faith states, "We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."

1) To be honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men.

This reminds me of the girl scout law and all the values that I grew up believing in - values that have become lost in the world today. I like to believe that there is good in all but a few people of this world, though the older I get, the more it seems to be a naive idea. I hope people will start to diffuse that negative thought. I think that is why Heavenly Father puts people in my path to help me keep faith in humanity.

Just last week I saw a lady in front of us at a stop light give her dinner to a couple of girls on the curb that looked pretty battered and hungry. It made me wish I could do more, though these days, there are people that beg at the street corners for a living. That makes me angry because there are real people that need help and you often can't tell the difference. For those two girls, I don't know what their story was, but I hope they find help and peace in their lives.

2) If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

Halloween isn't really my favorite time of year, only because of the emphasis on negative images and the horror movies. I had a really bad experience several years ago when I went to a theme park for its halloween night. It was right after I became a member of the church and I could just remember finally getting back to the hotel and just feeling such a loneliness and need for the spirit.

In comparison, Bryan and I have had some opportunities to visit museums and attend a TSO concert. The Natural History Museum in Gainesville was actually really cool showing the beauty and history of the Earth and God's creations. The TSO concert was also very good. It was a piece that was based on historical events in Russia. We definitely would recommend the museum to people and we would love to go to another concert sometime in the future.

3) We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things.

Our trials hopefully make us stronger, help us to empathize, and give opportunities to others to serve. As the holidays approach, people tend to always be either more selfish or more giving. I think a majority choose the latter (though unknowingly may do the former). As we think about the Savior and the true meaning of Christmas, let us choose and knowingly do the latter. And even though we celebrate Christ's birth in the middle of winter, let use help it bring warmth and hope in an otherwise cold season.

Music's Influence (Knowledge VE5)

Music has played a very important part in my life. I have always been fascinated how certain sound frequencies can be pleasant to the ear, and certain combinations of said sounds can stir our souls, affecting us emotionally and spiritually.

I just recently had to get an MRI which I never really knew much about. Besides the awkward and claustrophobic experience it was, the concept is intriguing. That we are made up of molecules at can be "read" with radio waves in a magnetic field.

An engineering professor of mine once made a comment as we were studying wave frequencies on structures. He said that just like the structures we were studying, we all have our own natural frequencies. Music affects people just like the wind and earthquakes can affect buildings, and we all have a tendency to like some types of rhythms and sounds over others.

Some of my favorite music is Christmas music. That was always my favorite time in band. The spirit of Christmas and what it means to celebrate the birth and life of Christ has inspired some of the best music. I remember on one of the episodes of Music and the Spoken Word, they narrated the story of the song "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day." It was very moving and I really like that song more than ever now.

I think one of my favorite Christmas songs, though, is "O Holy Night." Originally, a french poem, it was set to music by another frenchman, and has since been translated with variations. Apparently, it was one of the first songs to be broadcast on the first AM radio station. I think it not only has powerful lyrics, but the music sets the tone (no pun intended) for making this piece one that can inspire us all.

Truly He taught us to love one another;

His law is love and His gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;

And in His name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us praise His holy name.

Science and Spirituality (Knowledge VE4)

My secular education has influenced my spiritual knowledge in many ways. My knowledge of science has brought me to an understanding of how vast and beautiful the universe is. I think my initial draw to the studies of astronomy and geology was the beginning of my search for spiritual knowledge and truth.

As I am starting to prepare for the PG license exam, I am relearning many of the intricacies of this world. Right now I'm starting with chemistry and crystallography. Bryan and I were watching a show (Unlocking the Universe on the Science Channel) several weeks ago about Dmitri Mendeleev and the history of the periodic table. It was really quite interesting how he and others of his time struggled with their theories. One theory was based on music and octaves and how atoms acted similar. Apparently he had made prediction as to the properties of missing elements. It wasn't until work started in quantum physics that the remaining elements were discovered and the periodic table took it's current form.

That got me thinking about how relatively recent it has been that we have had this knowledge. Similarly, many of my professors were in the thick of debate over plate tectonics in there college years. How many other areas have these two things opened up for us in the past 100 years?

Many people believe that science and religion can't co-exist. Even I have questions I ponder that there are no specific answers for on either side. I am a firm believer that in the end, both scientific truth and gospel truth will, and must, become one. I also believe that these truths will all be reveled in their proper time. There comes a point where the more you learn about the universe, the more you realize how much you don't know. It opens up more questions and is truly humbling to know how infinite the universe really is. But knowing that we have a Heavenly Father who knows and loves us individually is even more amazing.

In the end, all we can do is keep asking questions, pondering, and learning. For everything else, there is faith.

A Day of Rememberance

July 2001: My mom, my bro, and I were in NYC trying to catch a glimpse of Lady Liberty (albeit her backside from Battery Park) on our way home from our New England trip when Matt wanted to see the twin towers and get a photo for some strange reason. So we drove by and I tried snapping a photo for him from the back window of the car. Sadly, all I could think about as we drove by was "isn't this the building that had a bomb attack a while back?"

Sept 11, 2001: I was in the Bellamy building when we were all told to leave our classes which were less than a mile from the 22 story capitol building (of a state with a governor who was the brother of the president). My seat was right at the door and the message to leave gave me goosebumps. Walking outside, you had a perfect glipse downtown and the capitol (this was before they allowed all the new highrises to be built). It was a day of uncertainty and disbelief.

So much has changed in my life since then. I've been engaged twice, graduated 3 times, was taught to gospel and became a mormon, met my eternal companion and was married, got 2 new kidneys, finally got my driver's license, learned to live on my own (but also learned that I don't like being on my own), learned to live with others (and try to love them), and most importantly learned that Heavenly Father has a plan for me even if it isn't what I think it should be.

Seveal months ago I met a man who was a first responder at the twin towers. He told me he shouldn't be alive. He had fallen 2 or 3 stories into the basement of one of the towers and somehow survived. He had been treated for injuries and evenually because of some antibiotics, his kidneys were damaged. He was at Shands as a potential transplant recipent and asked me a bunch of questions about the process. It was definitely a hubbling experience.

In the days after 9-11, I was on an astrology message board late one evening and one of the posts that struck me was one from someone who had a dream about the thousands of angels rising from ground zero. One of the replies was the interpretation of the souls who were lost that day being taken to a higher place.

Bryan and I just read Alma 14 where innocent people are burned for there beliefs and Alma is restrained by the spirit to be able to save them. In verse 11 he says to Amelek, "...The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day." I think about that and hope that both the souls of those we lost and their families and friends can find closure.

Bryan and I have been watching the Science Channels special "Rising: Rebuilding Ground Zero." It's been really amazing what they have been working on. It will be awesome when they finally finish it all. And maybe in the next few years, we will get a chance to go visit and honor those we lost as well as those that have and are fighting for our freedom. And maybe I can once again see Lady Liberty, but this time up closer.

Charity and the Atonement (Knowledge VE3)

During State Conference, my thoughts were led to the Atonement. My testimony of the atonement has always been a more logical one rather than an emotional one. Knowing that the plan was set from the foundation of the world and that the atonement was necessary for us to return to our Heavenly Father, it is difficult for me to get upset about it. It is, however, humbling to know that no one else was strong enough or perfect enough to be able to take on that burden except Jesus Christ.

Teaching Sunday School and Family History helped me understand that all concepts in the gospel lead back to the Atonement. Without it, the blessings of the temple, exaltation and eternal life would not be possible. The priesthood and the purpose of the Earth would be in vain.

Today in Sunday School, another thought came to me. We were discussing the Epistles of Paul and I began to think about how Charity is the basis of all the laws and commandments, for Christ taught, “...Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” (Matt 22:37-40) We are asked to be like Christ and love each other as Christ and our Heavenly Father love us. John 3:16 comes to mind: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

After some scripture searches, I was reminded of Moroni 7: 33-48 when he talks about faith and how faith comes from the hope “through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal” but “he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing...”

It reminds me that charity is ultimately behind the atonement. Moroni defines charity as “the pure love of Christ.” This to me is a love that is so perfect that it could only be defined by an action such as the atonement and brings an even deeper meaning to being charitable and Christ-like. Moroni implores us to “cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail...” but charity "endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.”

Learning New Tricks (Knowledge VE2)

This experience involves talents. The talents I believe I possess involve the visual arts, music, understanding of math and physical sciences, and on a more personal note, I am a good listener and a practical problem solver. I am an INTJ (Mastermind). I tend to be more introverted, but in the past have tried to work on being more extroverted. I have found myself becoming closer to an INFJ (Councelor) as I get older. I would like to continue to improve and gain better skills in teaching, being more compassionate, communicating with others (especially those that are new to me), and sharing the gospel.

For this experience I am supposed to learn a new skill or talent that would help me care for my future family or home. Over the past 18 months I have taken first aid training, received my driver's license, learned Access and quilting, and gained some knowledge from all the DIY and HGTV shows I wound up watching in the hospital. Whether these will be useful for my home and family it yet to be seen, but I'm sure they will be.